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Happy Birthday Old Fella

Posted on April 13th, 2015

You: 42h + 2nh = 44
h=Here
n=Not

You walk along the hinterlands hand in hand with past family and friends. The multitudes surround you in light. Kites fly by in the night and I see another candle flicker out atop my birthday cake of dreams. Steam bounds around these floundering sounds of you laughing, talking, running, biking and scuba diving. You left this place behind in search of greater things. Tore away the veil, rent the skin and floated out among the seas that separate you from me and us who labor away in vain. Blood stains everything we touch. Too much rain floods these memories. Foggy dreams awake me from sleep as you float along hand in hand with past family and friends.

I remember baseballs turning games into years gone by. A hit near the fence, you rounded first and slid safely into second, red dirt covering a once white shirt. Slit skin, blood pushed through, a living body doing what it did to protect and renew. One fine line to far left field drove you round third one last time. The relay man’s throw struck you in the head too late. You slid safely home and swam to the port city along the sea you loved to visit and dream of back then. Freedom floated you through the depths and pulled you from the waters breathing peace in a seaside town. You dive among the multitudes, hand in hand with past family and friends, no more dimly lit hopes for you. Clarity sings and sings and sings across the waves.

I will keep doing the math here on this side of the sea. Please pray for me and I for you. Peace, Clarity, Hopes and Dreams. May the winds carry my thoughts across the way to you. May my fears reach you there dear brother so you can stand with me until I too shed my life and swim the currents of freedom to the land over there where streets have no names, light reigns and love has the final say. Been going along this way of hopeless pain another day but your memory drains these things that maim me. Blood never fades. Your relentless straining against the grain demands I stand. Nothing bland about the bitterness in my mouth right now. Biting this tongue no more, I scream across the emptiness between us and curse all the fucking things that hurt you and now hurt me. We all have to bear this damn burden until our skin is rent and we float across to walk hand in hand with past friends where the multitudes are surrounded by Light, Peace, Clarity, Hopes and Dreams.

Me: 39h + d = t
h=Here
d=Days Remaining
t=There

Happy Birthday Old Fella, I miss you…


44

Header Image borrowed from Jesus Solana, Creative Commons.

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