I twist my neck around to see the moon shining down
Here on this tiny piece of land I own now.
Small, infinitesimal, simple animal
With emotions and a brain
I lose at times under the fun and moods
That wreck me upon rocks of thought and pondering.
This is not the dream I had long ago
but no way would I want another path to wander.
The dirt between my toes
smells of those days gone by and reminds me.
It reminds me to twist to the sun.
Stare it full on.
One of my little ones almost made me come undone
As she shared her tiny heart full of large emotions,
Snuggles and hugs needed everyday.
Cut off from the hand who held her through many a night.
A Dad’s hand who swaddled her so she could coo
Causing his heart to fall deeper
And deeper in love the way real fathers do.
A little laughter every night as her fire flew
Through darkness shouting for midnight waltzes
That forced tired legs to dance down the hall
Holding her tiny bundle boldly proclaiming
The pain of missing snuggle hugs.
“Now! I need you!”
A heart broken every day I’m apart from you little girl,
I pray and say “mountains move” to things unwilling
To change what’s needed for peace’s release.
I too am to blame for your present wishes sweet thing.
I too have walked the wrong side of tracks tracing back
To times before you entered this land of shifting sands.
I too want only for you,
And the one above and one beneath
to be wrapped in joy, love and peace.
Even though we must drink
From a fountain that has been rusted out,
I shout from the top of my lungs that you deserve
The fresh waters of truth.
You deserve to see us walk in peace,
And that, Little Miss, is what this is:
A hope a prayer that you can see me as I can be,
Better than you have ever seen,
No longer compressed but free to be
The covering of love I believe you need.
Divorce brings temporary physical separations between myself and my children. But my protective covering over them never ceases regardless of any distance between us. I will always be a Daddy and I will never shirk this beautiful life giving responsibility.